A Year Later.....

Well I just checked back to see when I started my blog. The date of my first entry was Nov 22, 2009. If you had asked me then where I thought we'd be in this process 365 days from that date, it wouldn't be here. I truly thought the first transfer would take. I didn't factor in human error. Our last transfer was scheduled for Nov 3 and a week before the doctor called me to cancel the procedure. Things just weren't the way he wanted them to be before the transfer. They don't want to take any risks this time around.

So where are we now? Waiting again! Things are on hold once again. This time the rough estimate is that the transfer will happen Feb/March of 2011. I truly hope so. I don't know how my IP's do this over and over again. They just see all of this as another step on the journey to the baby that they so desperately waiting to have. I am in awe of how well they handle this. They really are amazing people. The doctor told IM that I took the cancellation news worse than she did. I just couldn't believe that some else was happening....again.

So, we wait. I will post things as they begin to happen again. As always if there are questions from readers I will re post and answer them. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive as we go through all these trials and tribulations on the way to baby.

Transfer Date Change...#1.

So I thought it would be interesting to document how many times the transfer date is changed before they actually lock it down. The first date given was November 1 and now it's been switched to November 3. We knew this would happen as more testing of our cycles determine how to align the dates.

Next ultrasound has now been scheduled for Wed Oct 27th.

Protocol Step #2 Initiated!

So, the purpose of the BCP was to alter my cycle and after the 14 days on it I was to get my period. On day 2 of my cycle I was to go for an ultrasound at the OFC. Well, the BCP was too low in estrogen and I was on it for too short a period of time. What does this all mean? It means my period never came. The clinic in Toronto sent me for an ultrasound and blood work anyways yesterday to see where things stood and how to proceed now.

They discovered that my uterine lining is getting thicker so they have advised me to start on the Estrace. I am to take 2 pills three times a day. Estrace is used to thicken the uterine lining and make the uterus ready for the transfer. The idea now is that I won't get a period at all and 10 days from now will go back for another ultrasound and more blood work. After those results we will know the exact day of transfer.

Protocol Step #1 Complete

Today was day 14...and final day of taking the BCP. I have to admit, I'm happy that's over. Two weeks on the lowest level pill on the market and I still had headaches and somehow I spotted for most of the time. So, now that we're done with that on to Step #2....wait for period to begin. Once that happens monitoring begins on Day 2 of my cycle.

Now if I'm counting correctly....and I can never really count on that....we are less than two weeks away from a transfer!

My Personal Accomplishment

After the last transfer I decided that the best thing I could do while waiting for the next transfer was to get myself into the best possible shape I could. So after Easter I hit the gym. A couple months after that I started jogging on the treadmill. At first it was for 60 seconds at a time then a rest. Then I moved up to 90 seconds and eventually I was able to run for 10 whole minutes before I had to stopped. I moved my running outside and increased my distance to finally getting to 5K. Today the hard work paid off as I ran my first race. I ran in the CIBC Run for the Cure. It was an amazing experience. One that I will never forget and one that has made me want to run even more. Two weeks from now I'm running in the MADD Dash, another 5K run.

My plan is to continue to run after the transfer is done. As long as the doctor gives me the green light I will run....can't stop...I'm addicted!

The Medications Have Arrived!

Today I received a large box from FedEx. Took me a minute to realise what it was....the clinic from Toronto sent me my required medications....but in a large box! I held my breath as I opened it. The first thing I saw were the syringes...and I'm not going to lie...my stomach did a flip. I'm not the biggest fan of needles but these look to be pretty small; so how much could they hurt really?

What exactly was in the box? Well as promised there were 2 bottles of Estrace (200 tablets), 6 Doxycycline pills, 12 Progesterone suppositories and 5 vials of Progesterone. And lets not forget the 30 syringes and needles.

Oh I just took the needles out of the bag....one type is 1" long and the other is 1 1/2" long....that's too long! There goes that stomach flip again!

For as long as I'm required to inject myself with the Progesterone my husband Mike has graciously offered to do it for me. What a great guy I have to volunteer to stick a needle in his wife's butt daily!

A Protocol In Place!

Today I received an email from the clinic in Toronto. It detailed the things that I will be doing over the next month in preparation for the transfer. Take a look.....


We now have a protocol for you. You started your birth control pill yesterday. You are to take 14 days only of birth control pills. Last birth control pill October 9th.
On day 2 of a full flow period you will go to the OFC for bloodwork and U/S. I have already asked my secretary to send you a fed-ex package with Medication of Estrace. Antibiotics, etc in it. You should receive it by the end of the week.
After we receive the results from the OFC you will be given instructions on starting your Estrace. You need to be on the Estrace for 10 days and then you will return to the OFC for another U/S and bloodwork.
You will then be ready for your embryo transfer which is tentatively set for November 1st.
Once the IM gets her trigger shot you will be notified to take antibiotics and when to start your progesterone.


Holy Smokes!!!! How quickly we've gone from waiting to being a month away from the transfer. I'm so happy for my intended parents. They deserve this so much and shouldn't have to wait a minute longer.

I'm on the Pill!

We are actually starting something! Today I was put on the birth control pill to regulate my cycle to prepare for the IVF Transfer. Both mine and my IM's cycles must be in sync in order for the harvest and transfer to go at the same time since this is a fresh not frozen transfer.

Wow, I can't believe that a transfer date may actually be here soon! Now, I won't get overly excited as I was told by the pharmacist that I have a repeat on the prescription, so this could be more than just a month of waiting. Praying that it's not!

Time for an Update

It's been a while since I have updated my blog. I haven't dropped off the face of the earth nor have we ended the journey. In fact we are still going ahead with all plans for another transfer. As of now we are all doing our bloodwork again to start from the beginning. I'm hoping the next time I post I'll have a date for a transfer or at least more transfer information.

But since I don't have that let me update you on some new things that have been going on. Firstly this summer has brought us quite a few visits with my IP's. We've met up for nice afternoons in cottage county, dinner in the big city and catching rays in the harbour. The friendship that I have continued to develope with my IM will be one that I will always treasure.

In a previous post I mentioned that with the time we had between transfers that I would focus on getting myself in shape and being in the best possible health for this pregnancy. Well, that's exactly what I've been doing. To date I've lost 25 pounds. I have taken up running and will be running in the 5K Run For The Cure on October 3. During this process I've had many chances to think about how lucky I am to be a mom and to be there for my children. In training for this run I've thought about all the Moms that Cancer has taken away from their children. I am running so that we can find a cure and save more moms so they can watch their children grow.

If you would like to help me reach my fundraising goal please see the link below.
http://www.runforthecure.com/site/TR/RunfortheCure/Ontario?px=1387970&pg=personal&fr_id=1101

So that is what's new here. I promise to keep more up to date with the goings on of the surrogacy. Fingers crossed we will transfer soon!

The Waiting Game

As I've mentioned before, nothing moves at the speed of Lisa. We are still waiting for doctors to sort out files, get test results and find other doctors to help us out in the next transfer. We were hoping for an April or May transfer but it looks like June may be more realistic.

Thank you to all who have supported us. Your prayers and positive thoughts mean so much.

Here We Go Again!

Well it's been a while since I've had anything to update. We've been trying to get everything in order for the next transfer. The hardest part was getting our files from the previous doctor to give to the new clinic. That alone probably took us a month...not the most helpful office to deal with and considering what had happened you'd think they would bend over backwards to help us. Now that we have the files we've fast forwarded with the new doctor as he won't have to screen me, he has all my previous test results.

So today I got the phone call that I've been waiting for....the transfer could be happening in April at the earliest (May if it's harder to align our cycles) So basically two weeks from now I could be starting to prepare for the transfer. This will be a fresh transfer so injections will have to be done by both of us (IM and I) to get our cycles the same. Once the eggs are harvested and fertilized the embryos are transfer ed into me 2 to 3 days later.

IP's and I are very excited. There are highs and lows in this fertility thing and we are headed back on one of the highs.Again there is hope that the transfer will be a success and in my heart of hearts I know that will be the case.

IM Answers Your Questions.

After my post yesterday I received another question from my friend Brandi. Well the question wasn't exactly for me....it was for my IM. I sent it off to her and here are both question and answer.

Here's a question that can probably be answered best by your IP. What are some things considered by IP when choosing a particular surrogate?

Hmm...well first it's not only what the IP considers....the surrogate also has to pick you....it has to be a good match for both of you....it's a gut feeling I think in finding the perfect person. Things that you might consider at the beginning change as you go through the process....it's a life long bond between you and her. I feel like my surrogate and I have been friends forever already. She's a warm, loving and compassionate person and that's what really matters.

When looking for someone though there are a few things to consider. Her age, someone between 25-35 is good. Proven fertility, has children. Completed her family. Married or in a committed relationship that has the support from their significant other. Then there's all the obvious things like non-smoker, no alcohol, no drugs (during pregnancy)

Reader Questions

Since the transfer I've had a couple questions asked about what is going to happen next. The next steps for my IP's are very important so here are the questions and their answers.

What's involved in the preparation of the next embryos? Does your IM have to take some meds to produce more follicles?

Always great questions from my friend Dawn. In preparation for the next transfer both the IM and I will be taking injections to get our cycles in sync. She will also be taking medication to produce as many follicles as possible. Ideally the number of eggs harvested will be around 8. Once the eggs are retrieved they will fertilize them with IF's sperm. The doctor and IP's will decide how long the fertilized eggs will grow before the transfer. In most cases if the eggs are two days old they will transfer 3 eggs. 3 day old eggs, two will be transferred. Any additional embryos will be frozen for the future.

Did you get the money refunded so you can go to a new doctor for the next transfer?

The doctor did refund my IP's the cost of the transfer once he told him of the mistake. Previously my IP's had gone to another doctor and clinic in their area. They decided to go back to him and next week IM has an appt to set up the next transfer. Once she sees him we'll get an idea of when to expect the next transfer. Hopefully it won't be too long. All of our files were sent from the previous doctor and since we'll be using the medication to sync our cycles hopefully I won't have to go through the monitoring process again.

Thank you to my readers for your great questions. Please feel free to ask anything else. I always answer to the best of my ability.

A Word of Thanks

When I started this journey I only thought of how it would affect myself, my family and my IP's and their family. I didn't think about how this blog would affect others or how they would affect me. Over the past couple of weeks my readers have shown us nothing but support. The prayers, positive words and stories of encouragement mean a great deal to me and my IP's. My IM frequently reads the blog and sees the comments from others. The stories that have been told to us help to keep her going and help her to see that there are happy endings to stories like hers.

So on behalf of my IP's and myself...thank you to everyone who has been there for us. Keep us in your prayers as we embark on the next step of this journey....one that is destined to have a happy ending.

Confirmation of What We Thought.

So yesterday I got my period. It wasn't a shock but it was still sad. Last week I took 8 HPT's. I woke up every morning and prayed that two lines would show up. I prayed for a miracle. I guess it wasn't the right time. I never told my IM that I was doing the HPT's. I would have surprised her with the news if there was news to share.

Now we look forward to the next transfer. When that will take place I'm not really sure. I think the hope is before May.

I've decided that I have extra time for a reason...this week my husband and I will join a local gym. I'm going to get my body in the best shape that I can for my IP's baby...focus on making the most welcoming 9 month home for their bean!

A Week Later..Where are We Now?

So it was a couple days of regrouping after last weeks news. Once in was all absorbed my IP's decided to focus on the future and the next step. There is no trust left in this Doctor so they have decided to switch clinics and go to a Dr. they have used in the past. My files have been transferred from the clinic in Toronto and the doctor here in Ottawa that I went to for monitoring.

Now we need to go through the process of creating more embryos for the next transfer. I don't know what the time frame for all of this is. I know that IM would like it to be yesterday but realistically is looks like March or April at the earliest for the next transfer.

I can't really express how I feel for my IP's. If I knew it was only a matter of my body not accepting the embryos then I could deal with it that way....but this... I know that they are moving on past it and I will too but I feel horrible for them. I wish I hadn't made them wait so many months to do the transfer in the first place.

Heartbreaking News Today.

I got a heartbreaking phone call this morning....IM was on the other end.....the Doctor told them that he made a mistake during transfer and it's not quite clear where the embryos went. He said he made a mistake...a mistake he's never made before but the embryos may or may not be in me. I may or may not have a chance of being pregnant. He was so sorry for what had happened that he offered to refund my IP's the costs of the transfer....ya, so nice of him!

IM is angry and devastated and confused and, and, and! Her main focus is on the next step....where do we go from here. She's not hanging onto the hope that next week we'll get a positive pregnancy test result...that's just too hard to hope for. The hope comes in the form that this will happen...hopefully in a couple of months.

I am dedicated to my IP's no matter what we need to do. I will be there for them until that baby is in their arms. It killed me not to be with my IM today as she told me the news. I wish you could hug through the phone.

Transfer Day

Well the day has finally arrived. The transfer took place this morning. When we arrived at the clinic the doctor went over the procedure with me and IM. Although we were planning to transfer all three of the frozen embryos only two made in through the thawing process. One was in perfect condition and the other was in good condition. The doctor said both would be transferred.

We went into the procedure room where I was introduced to every girls best friend...the stirrups. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but an embryo transfer is done on a full bladder...not the most comfortable thing to experience.

As we started I was hooked up to the ultrasound machine so the doctor could make sure the embryos would go exactly where he wanted them. The procedure is done by inserting a catheter into the uterus. Once it's in place a smaller catheter containing the embryos is inserted into the first. When the catheter reaches the spot in the uterus that the doctor wants the embryos placed, they are deposited....that's it!

But wait....we had some technical difficulty. The second catheter hit into something when it was insterted...what do I have in there? Anyways, it bent the catheter and the doctor took it out and asked the tech to prepare another one with the embryos. The tech replied "the embryos are gone" Gone? Where? A new catheter was placed in and checked to see how deep the first one went in the uterus. The doctor assured us that they were placed exactly where he wanted and not to worry....ok, that's what we'll do...haha!

After, we headed out for some lunch along the lakefront of the Toronto Harbour. IF met up with us and we enjoyed some good food and good conversation. My flight was at 3:30 and I was home in time for dinner and bathtime with my kidlets. I should mention here that last night was the first night away from my kids since my girls were born over a year ago. Thank you to my husband for taking them all so I could go get pregnant in another city...without him!

So now the waiting game begins. I have a requisition for bloodwork to be taken in 10 days. I may get impatient (like usual) and take a HPT but IM doesn't want to know about it unless it comes back positive. I completely understand that. I hope she gets some sleep this week.

To all my readers...thank you for all your positive thoughts and prayers as the procedure occured today. Please continue to pray and send out sticky vibes our way.

The Day Before

I woke up this morning with butterflies. The realization of it all has officially set in. I'm not worried about being pregnant or giving the baby to it's parents....I'm worried about it not sticking. I know that nothing in a guarantee in all of this but my IP's have waited 8 months for me to be ready for this transfer....no pressure uterus!!!

So at 9pm I took off for TO (*author's note...if you ever get a change to fly on Porter Airlines I highly recommend it...free alcohol!...and great service too) My IP's met me at the airport and took me back to their home. We stayed up for the next 2 hours talking about all sort of things and enjoying a few 'pops' before we said goodnight.

It felt like I just spent the evening with two of my closest friends. What wonderful people I have to do this journey with.

Tomorrow is the big day. 6:45am wake up call....I get to sleep in!!! Drive to downtown TO in time for the 9:30am transfer.

The Appointment is Booked...the Plane Tickets too!

So on January 27th I will be in TO having three embryos transferred into me so that 40 weeks from now my IP's will be two very happy parents. It's finally here....I can't believe it. Back in May when we first started talking it seemed like this day was so far away. Now it's just a few sleeps from reality.

I'm flying out Tuesday night to spend the night at my IP's house. Next morning IM and I will drive to the appointment together. At 9am the transfer will take place. Then it's off to lunch before flying back home.

Third Test is the Charm!

Day 14 of my (usually very regular) cycle and we have ovulation!!!!

I took the third test this morning and tested positive. So, according to the doctor we count tomorrow as day 0, Monday as day 1, Tuesday as day 2 and Wednesday as day 3....transfer day!!!!

I called the fertility doctor and am waiting to hear back to confirm the transfer day and to begin medications. Then travel plans can be made.

Rantings from a Hormonal Woman

Ok, so here I am day 12 waiting....waiting for my body to ovulate....waiting for the doctor to give us the official transfer date...waiting to arrange things for work and my children. I am not a patient person when it comes to waiting. I like things to move at the 'speed of Lisa' and nothing usually does.

So since I haven't ovulated I must now pee on a stick each day until ovulation occurs. I have the ovulation kit and took the first one as advised....negative. Try again tomorrow!

Reader Questions

After my last post a received a comment/question from my friend Dawn. As always I wanted to share the questions and answers with all of my readers.

I love the way you are explaining it to C man! That is something he can definitely relate to. I have a couple questions of my own. The first is that I was wondering if the embryo's are thawed first and monitored at all to see if they are still viable or is it a 'bake from frozen' process. My second question is about when the baby (s?) are here. Does you IM have any desires to breastfeed and/or will you be doing any pumping after the birth? Not that formula isn't a great option but I've read that a woman can start producing milk and was just curious if that was something she was interested in doing. I hope that my question isn't too personal...I was just curious! :)

The embryos will not be frozen when the transfer is done. They will be thawed and monitored to make sure that they survived the thawing process. The Doctor will transfer the ones that are viable. So if all three are viable, all three will be transferred!

I have offered to pump colostrum after the birth for the baby(s). After that IM will be trying to breastfeed using medication that will induce lactation. She is very excited to try this but if it's not successful formula will be used. Personally I think it's wonderful that there is a way she can experience breastfeeding with her baby.

Thank you Dawn for asking the questions.

What to Tell the Children

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other night and she asked a really good question....one that we had thought long and hard about before starting this journey.

How have we explained the surrogacy to our children? Do they understand this isn't our baby?

Since we have 5 children with a twelve year difference between the oldest and youngest it's hard to explain it to everyone the same way so that they will understand. We were very honest with the 12 and 7 yr old. We told them that this couple could not have a child of their own and that the doctors were putting the already fertilized egg into me where it would grow. We explained that it would not be a sibling of theirs and it would go home with the couple once it was born. My step son seemed to understand right away and said "oh like the movie Baby Mama" yep...something like that!

Our 1yr old twins will not really understand any of it. They might just notice Mommy getting bigger and much slower in the end but they won't know why. Now C-man he may wonder what the heck is going on. At 2 1/2 he's asking questions about everything. Since I run a home daycare and he sees how the kids go home at the end of each day we are going to use that to help us explain it to him. We'll tell him that this baby is like a daycare friend but I'm watching it in my belly until it's ready to go home with it's Mommy and Daddy.

And the Medications Have Begun

I was given five different prescriptions by the fertility doctor. I may not have to take all five...which also includes one that I would have to inject into myself. Last night I started the first one. It's called Tamoxifen and I take it twice a day for the next five days. It's purpose is to ensure ovulation occurs.
Next week when I go for the second day of monitoring I will be advised of how to proceed on the rest of the meds.

Another Reader Question

This morning I received this question from a reader/friend of mine....great question by the way!

Are you concerned at all that you will get emotionally attached to this baby and not be able to just get up and leave in the hospital? I know you said you'll always be a part of the baby's life, but are you afraid of having that motherly attachment to him/her as if they were your own?

Although this baby will kick me, move around in me and cause me heartburn just like my own children did, this is not my baby. I have no dreams of bringing it home to place it in an awaiting crib. I will not be designing a nursery or picking out clothes. I will be carrying this baby and anticipating the moment that it is placed in it's mothers arms. I will be okay when it's time to leave the hospital without a baby because I know that he/she will be going to the home that they belong to. I will never think of it as my own because I know that this is not the case.
I have told my IP's to record themselves reading baby books so that I can play it against my belly. That way their baby will start to recognize their voices.
I will love this baby as a part of our family but not as my child. It's a different love.

Thank you reader for your question. Keep them coming!

A Visit With My Intended Parents

Yesterday we had a party to celebrate the 1st birthday of our twin girls. My IP's made the trip out here to celebrate with our family and friends. They truly are great people to drive over 8 hrs round trip in one day just to come to a birthday party. It was so great to see them, especially with the transfer date fast approaching.

They aren't shy or secretive about who they are either. I was able to introduce them to all of my friends as our Intended Parents and they answered questions about this journey.

After the party we came back to our place then headed out for dinner. As I sat at the end of the table I looked down at my family; my children, my husband, my parents and then at two people who have become a part of our family. I am blessed to have all these wonderful people in my life who support and love me as I go through this experience.

Crisis Averted

I'm calm now.

I called my IP's at 8:30 yesterday and woke them up...I felt so bad. But the kind, understanding people they are were okay with it and helped to calm me down. We called the fertility clinic and spoke with the staff there. We were assured that things were fine since it's a frozen embryo transfer. Basically since we aren't setting someone else's cycle to mine for a fresh transfer the Dr's can play around with the days and my own cycle.

So now on day 3 (Tuesday) I will go for monitoring. Once the Dr. in T.O. gets the results they will decide what medications to start me on for the week.

Change of Plans

So I woke up this morning to discover that my body wants to get this process started sooner than later. I have started my period five days early.

It has really set in...this is it, here we go!

I'm finding myself a little anxious about things now. According to the fertility clinic I'm supposed to be in for monitoring on day 2 or 3....great it's the weekend! And I just discovered that the Dr. who is doing the monitoring is out of the office on Monday. I'm also supposed to start taking medication to assist with ovulation starting on day 3...ok so I may be more in panic mode than just anxious. I'd call my IP's now but I know 6am is just a little too early to call them!

Deep breath Lisa!

Ok, so I'm going to wait until a respectable hour and call my IP's and hopefully we can sort out the monitoring for the next couple days. If my calculations are correct the transfer date has now been changed to January 25th.

We Have A Transfer Date!

I am so very excited to announce that our date for transfer is January 29th!. Just 23 days away. Let me tell you my IP's are just a tad excited as well. IM mentioned the other night that if she thinks about how close we are to the transfer that she can't sleep at night.

I've learned a little more on how this works. The embryos were 3 days old when frozen. This means that I must be day 17 of my cycle when the transfer takes place. The purpose of this is to trick my body into thinking that I became pregnant from my own ovulatory cycle. Interesting eh?

Another Reader Question

After my last post I received another question....I can't tell you how excited this makes me. Here it is....

Does the IP get to stay in the hospital with the baby? I've always been curious how that works.



From what I understand the IP's will be able to room in with the baby. Since I've always wanted to leave the hospital five minutes after giving birth I will head home as soon as the doctors let me. I assume that they would essentially just get the room that I would be using. As long as things go smoothly they'd be able to leave with the baby within 24 hours or so after birth.


There is some paperwork that the hospital has to be filled out in this situation. Once that's done we're good to go.

I hope this answers your question lbfloyd.

Keep them coming readers!